i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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