tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
