How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
