Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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