I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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