Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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