Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
