there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
