Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
