Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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