You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
