I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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