I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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