haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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