don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
