Is it because I queefed?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Green mimosas i think yes
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
