I'm drive I can fine osifer
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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