Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
