I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
