she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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