be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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