its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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