I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
