That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
