Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
