we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
