just come out here and I will go home with you...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
