his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
