Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
