so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
