i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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