i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
