i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
