sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
