you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
They have beer where we have blood.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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