PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
