I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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