Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
