I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
