no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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