A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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