she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
