Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
