so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
