that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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