"it" just moved
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
