if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize