I just saw a hot homeless man
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
