that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
