Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Randomize
