there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
