we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
time to smoke my breakfast
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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