Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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