what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
