Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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