how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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