I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
