you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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