I didn't shave. On purpose
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
